My Journey

I've been trying to tackle all my goals for quite some time now. It's always been clearly more than any one person could manage, but I loved the idea of mixing it up and keeping things exciting so much that I piled everything on my plate anyway. Of course, it hurt to see things slide right off and fall to the floor even though I knew it was going to happen. After many years, I've come back to the idea of cutting it down to the present moment. Not in the big picture way, I'm still doing a wide variety of things because I enjoy them, but more practicaly. I realise that any good experience needs to be fun, which is the only way to live a good life. So, I've been focuing intently on my moment to moment experience. Whenever I stop to take a breather, I look up at the giant mountains in front of me, and they seem so insurmountable, it totally disorients me, casuing me to lose my footing. Achieveing anything meaningful or worthwhile seems so difficult that you feel like dr...

A lot has happened since I last wrote here. Even though I'm objectively in the worst shape of my life, I'm starting to remember the source of my strength, the power of mind over matter. I can feel the tide turning, and achievement seems more inevitable than ever before. As I imagine the true value of reaching my goals, maybe for the first time ever, I try my best not to trip over myself. That's why I've been nudging myself to focus on the present moment and to find inherent enjoyment in engaging with my problems. I've been through this hopecore arc before, and I've gone through what comes next. I was wide-eyed and optimistic when I was young, thinking the right mindset and good choices could solve everything. I've also been jaded and hopeless for a long time. It's time to let myself switch once more. It's better to hope, try, fail, and hurt, rather than to stay in the same place forever. I've stagnated, confusing inaction with safety, but I see m...