My Journey

I do a lot of journaling and freeform writing here, simply putting my words on the page, because it was better than nothing. I stopped because it felt like it wasn't enough. How was jotting down my thoughts making me a better writer? I needed more deliberate practice. I needed other people to join in me in my pursuit to self-mastery and actualization. So I went out to pick something worth buidling an audience for. When I dig a bit deeper, the answer seems painfully clear. I have been avoiding the real work of storytelling. Instead of amstering a genre, I still need to try many more things. So, let's write a story today in the same way as I write things here. Let's just get our thoughts on paper.  The story is about making online content. Just as democracy decentrilized decision-making, letting anyone participate in the game of power, the internet did the same for fame. Anyone can start making efforts to join their local government, but they have to be a politician to win. A...

What is the purpose of life? Is it to do a lot of amazing things? When someone finds out they are going to pass away, they make a bucket list full of special experiences like skydiving, connecting with loved ones, or giving a speech in public. But it's not the same as what we chase most days. Right now, all I'm trying to do is get smarter, better, faster, stronger. So I can get richer, powerful and more lovable.  Part of me wants to jump in and say, "No! You're lovable even as you are, right here and now." Another part says, "Well then, why don't we have everything we need to be happy?" I do have everything I need, but it doesn't feel enough. I had a dream last night where someone I really loved with all my heart for a long time, a kind, beautiful, and awesome woman, also loved me back for the first time ever. It made me so happy my heart could explode. Don't we all deserve that? I woke up feeling a deep sense of lonliness. I wanted to become...

I've experienced something interesting. It was essentially a 2-hour lecture by Dr. Gabor Mate on healing. The first thing I want to note down was his understanding of compassion and the 5 levels of it: Ordinary Human Compassion: When you feel pain, so do I. This first level is something almost all of us are capable of some of the time. It's important but very basic. It feels uncomfortable when seeing the homeless and painful when hearing an animal cry out. It's what drives people to console someone who is crying, in hopes of making them stop. Compassion of Understanding: Going deeper to ask, "Why the pain?" This is essentially a deeper level of empathy that takes a closer look, seeking to understand someone with curiosity. It's about wanting to know who a person is, beyond their present behavior. It's what might drive someone to have a real, heart-to-heart conversation with someone to understand why they were crying. Compassion of Recognition:  Gabor des...