My Journey

Are Dreams Useless? I doubt I'm the only one with big dreams. I reckon almost everyone had something grand in their lives that they wanted to achieve. For me, it's becoming a great storyteller; for others, it might be making money, settling down in a lounge, or nurturing a beautiful, loving family. What keeps us from achieving these things? Sure, every journey is different, but I think there might be something that ties all the broken, abandoned, and unfulfilled dreams of ours together.  I'll start with me. The best stories I have come across have given me a reason to live. They made me feel when I was numb, and showed me a whole new universe where I saw pitch-black darkness before. On the one hand, I want to do this because I want to carry on the sacred tradition of myth-making. On the other hand, I definitely enjoyed experiencing stories more than most other things, perhaps it will be the same as an author? All it took was a few hours and a computer screen to rid me of th...

Building my own philosophy to meet life has always been crucial work to me. I would like to take a moment to summarise what I believe to be most important. First of all, I do believe that life does have meaning. While life's meaning is not inherent, its value is. Life has inherent value because of its miraculous perseverance against all odds, and the eventual demise that makes it transient. It is therefore something that is brought about through great effort, energy, and history while also having an eventual end. We have an obligation to honor this value by serving its natural purpose to the highest level, its own perpetuation, and continuation in different forms toward the future. This is the age-old ideal of "paying it forward". That perpetuation requires each of us to create our own personal sense of meaning and purpose as human beings that require a sense of autonomy to thrive. Hence we all need a personal sense of purpose. This need is also tied to natural law in pra...

If I have learned one thing on how to get better, it's that I really do have to keep doing them again and again, more and more, until I get better and better at them. How nice is it for the privileged Goku's of the world with their hyperbolic time chambers and their mentors who give them training, feedback, and a safe environment for them to grow? Perhaps a terrible analogy as it relates to me.  Fall in love with the process. Just keep taking steps. Learn to peak your dopamine release during the process of friction. Enjoy the process and forget about the goals. Lose yourself in the flow of your actions and your work. Chase excellence and success shall follow. Lay down that brick as perfectly as possible and forget about the walls and the pathways and everything else. Just have that fundamental quality of faith that on the other side of your pain, there is something better. If I keep saying the words and doing the actions, will they eventually start to become real? Days like thi...

I've been stressing out about my relationships my entire life. The lack of a romantic one, the superficiality of my paternal ones, the lack of depth in the ones with my siblings, and the consistent inconsistency in all of my friendships. I've always heard that you're born alone and you die alone, and you're pretty much always alone so better get used to it. I remember when I was younger, I used to fantasize about it. How weak these simp like men were who were being controlled by women. How wonderful a truly independent life would be. How ideal. How freeing.  To my mind now, only my brother Bhuvan seems to be living an ideal life. Full of challenges for sure, not without his own share of terrible suffering, but still happy, and kind. Never allowing himself to get bitter and depressed. That's what it seems to me now anyway. Past few days I've been going back and forth on it. On one hand I thought the new year and the Christmas weekend are a time to socialise and b...

I woke up relatively early today for once and the new feeding times are suiting me so far, although I can only know for sure in a week or so if it sticks. This resulted in a lot of time for me to engage in my other more fruitful activities. On one hand, what is the point of recording everything every day, on the other, I know very well the reasons behind each of my endeavors and I want nothing more than to achieve all of them for many days in a row. So I spent all my free time wasting more than most of it. Jumping from app to app, playing round after round of Isaac, watching episode after episode.  Some of my experiences tell me to take things slow and appreciate any and all progress. They tell me to ease into my goals and let things happen organically. Yet I intuitively know that to be totally false. This is why I'm not consulting anyone about this or asking for advice. A part of me wants to take things slow and go easy. That part of me has constantly made me miserable my whole li...

"It's not wrong to be selfish. It's actually the most beautiful thing a person can be.  To be selfish means to be yourself." - You tell me who said that in the comments without googling it I 've   heard many people being called selfish for many things, none of which could be considered particularly admirable. Unfortunately due to some incompetence, ignorance, and arbitrary occurrences we have arrived at a culture that misrepresents the value of selfishness and demonizes the supposed selfish individual. Not without good reason either, but my point remains. My point being that the word selfish, just like every other word you think you know, needs to be redefined. That's a great practice btw, notice how when you're reading something you sometimes work out the meaning of the word from the context in which it's used? Well, guess what? Most of the words you know have been learned in the same manner, by assumption rather than inquiry. By someone giving it to ...

I t's safe to say that the people fortunate enough to have their most basic needs fulfilled and secured throughout their lives are faced with increasingly counter intuitive challenges that continuously manage to turn up the difficulty. Think of it as the game of life's ingenious built-in system to ensure a consistent level of challenge and infinite replay-ability.  None the less, with the advent of the internet, guides and walkthroughs for virtually all levels can be uploaded secure in the knowledge that almost everyone from any level can possibly seek out their own personal solutions. So any advice offered is never really wasted, provided it's made easily available. Even if it isn't, no effort is ever wasted in general, but that's another topic in itself. With that outlandish introduction out of the way, I want to talk about the single biggest misconception so prevalent that it manages to hold people back in innumerable ways regardless of their level. It is the ide...

D eath;  Such a somber, melancholic and desolate topic of discussion. The word carries with it tons of negative connotations on it's shoulders, yet the immeasurable weight of this allegorical dark armor does not slow down the reaper one bit. No matter how severely people are traumatized by this phenomenon, or how terribly difficult it can make a person's life, Death happens all the same. Maybe that's because The truth is immune to one's feelings, maybe caring is a fallacy exclusive to humans, It's hard to say for sure. What we do know for sure, is that everything in this universe is temporary and death is coming for us all. It is the great unifier that takes everything back to where it came from, nothingness, and so the pendulum swings on. Death is literally a part of Life F or those of you who don't know, a connotation is the feeling that a word incites in a person. It can therefore, by definition, be different for everyone. Personally, the word br...