My Journey

What is the purpose of life? Is it to do a lot of amazing things? When someone finds out they are going to pass away, they make a bucket list full of special experiences like skydiving, connecting with loved ones, or giving a speech in public. But it's not the same as what we chase most days. Right now, all I'm trying to do is get smarter, better, faster, stronger. So I can get richer, powerful and more lovable.  Part of me wants to jump in and say, "No! You're lovable even as you are, right here and now." Another part says, "Well then, why don't we have everything we need to be happy?" I do have everything I need, but it doesn't feel enough. I had a dream last night where someone I really loved with all my heart for a long time, a kind, beautiful, and awesome woman, also loved me back for the first time ever. It made me so happy my heart could explode. Don't we all deserve that? I woke up feeling a deep sense of lonliness. I wanted to become...

I've experienced something interesting. It was essentially a 2-hour lecture by Dr. Gabor Mate on healing. The first thing I want to note down was his understanding of compassion and the 5 levels of it: Ordinary Human Compassion: When you feel pain, so do I. This first level is something almost all of us are capable of some of the time. It's important but very basic. It feels uncomfortable when seeing the homeless and painful when hearing an animal cry out. It's what drives people to console someone who is crying, in hopes of making them stop. Compassion of Understanding: Going deeper to ask, "Why the pain?" This is essentially a deeper level of empathy that takes a closer look, seeking to understand someone with curiosity. It's about wanting to know who a person is, beyond their present behavior. It's what might drive someone to have a real, heart-to-heart conversation with someone to understand why they were crying. Compassion of Recognition:  Gabor des...

I'm a very healthy person. I love to feel deeply connected to my body and to ground myself in the never-ending present moment's blissful wonder. I'm always doing this effortlessly, naturally, and with ease, to the point where it is simply a happening that unfolds. I love feeling the support of my bones and skeletal structure, the strength and energy in my muscles, and the life deep inside my organs.  I relish feeling connected to the world with every breath as the air passes in and out of my lungs, enriching my body with vital nutrition. I like letting go of all the stress and tension I accumulate in knots, blocks, and leaks once they have served their purpose of keeping me sharp, safe, and aware.  I even enjoy and appreciate the thick layers of fat and the incredibly powerful, complex system that stores and maintains the energy to keep me breathing. I'm grateful for the light in my eyes, smell in my nose, sound in my ears, taste on my tongue, and sensations on my skin....

I feel like I've been down this road before... but here I am again. I'm getting pulled in many different directions. I really want to develop certain skills. I want to become more useful and competent as a human being. Yet, I'm afraid that this is all too much and I feel like I'm spiraling and about to crash and curn again.  I want to learn all the basics of marketing. I want to become better at writing, strategizing, and consulting businesses. I also want to become a better designer. I want to learn all the basics of all the softwares. I want to learn 3D animation, 2D animation, and graphic design. On one hand, I want to become a world-class master communicator that can whip out scripts, dialogue, and outlines out the whazoo. I want to write amazing blogs and create brilliantly insightful videos. I want to write entire books so I can awe-inspire people with amazing speeches, lectures, and presentations. I also want to be an artist, because a picture is worth a thousand...

Hello there my fellow readers! How are you doing today? Welcome to Earth in 2026. It's a wild and wonderful place bursting with unbelievable joys, naughty mischief, tragic horrors, and gnarly traps at every step. One thing is clear, you won't be bored here. That's right, anything can happen in this mad, mad landscape full of surprises, but there are some things you can expect. Kids can expect tons of shiny toys and fun rides. The elderly can have medicare and lifesupport. But for everyone in between, there is one thing worth considering: What would you like to do every single day of your life? It's a pretty wild question, one that inspires a lot of discomfort, but an important one regardless.  Now, while most people are nice enough to console you, saying that you don't really have to settle on a single thing for most of your life, that's far from the truth. In fact, the vast majority of the world would love nothing more than to stick a label on your head and sti...

My world is full of splitting paths, endless horizons, peaks, valleys, and everything in between. Yet, I always seem to end up coming around to the same old parts. Even when things seem different on the surface, I feel the same as I always have. There's something perculiar about therapeutic activities. They cleanse me from within. Perhaps everyone is different, and most people have someone else to lean on, but I always find myself backed up and stuffed to the brink with some kind of gunk.  It also seems like it wasn't always gunk to begin with. That perhaps there was a time and a place, maybe even some people out there who could've used these inner resources, if they came out in a particular way. Like what I had to say mattered to someone. I somehow find that hard to believe, contrary to my gut feelings. I discovered this year that I have a tendency toward inaction. It seems that I prefer to let things be, to go with the flow and not stir up the pot. An adaptation from a ti...

I've been trying to tackle all my goals for quite some time now. It's always been clearly more than any one person could manage, but I loved the idea of mixing it up and keeping things exciting so much that I piled everything on my plate anyway. Of course, it hurt to see things slide right off and fall to the floor even though I knew it was going to happen. After many years, I've come back to the idea of cutting it down to the present moment. Not in the big picture way, I'm still doing a wide variety of things because I enjoy them, but more practicaly. I realise that any good experience needs to be fun, which is the only way to live a good life. So, I've been focuing intently on my moment to moment experience. Whenever I stop to take a breather, I look up at the giant mountains in front of me, and they seem so insurmountable, it totally disorients me, casuing me to lose my footing. Achieveing anything meaningful or worthwhile seems so difficult that you feel like dr...