My Journey

Nobody wants to be a writer. It's much better to let those magical thoughts, images, and ideas remain like magic. So much better to let things remain unsaid. Who wants to remove the veil that shrouds certainty? To know is to be burdened with awareness. It's responsible, sensible, and sound. It all seems so dreadfully dull on the page, drenched in black and white. Why would anyone wish to take that vibrant idea, so colorful and free, and imprison it into words, open to analysis, to be butchered, dissected, torn apart, and rearranged, until little to none of the original form remains?  Nobody wants to work on a single thing for years at a time. Looking at the same thing repeatedly in a vacuum, day after day, always thinking about it yourself, always working on it in your head. Nobody wants to be alone, working on a series of words to put their name on, something worth reading for other people, pouring all of their being and life energy into it, only for it to be released into the...

A warm cup of tea is fuel to the soul.  The plant grows in beautiful stretches of hilly plains where cascading shades of glistening green, sunlight, and shadows orchestrate a magnificent symphony with the wind. Its leaves breathe in fresh crisp air all year round, giving off a fragrance so blissful, such a heavenly aroma, that no man can deny it. Upon drying up the leaves under the sun, further condensing and fortifying the flavors, the leaves become a force to be reckoned with, able to give even the decadent vanilla bean a run for its money.  The British take these leaves and soak them in warm water, about 70-80 degrees Celsius for about 5-10 minutes, to extract all of this gorgeously refreshing flavor into the beverage. They were the ones who really bought it in India. The Indians saw it and thought of spices. Both of them: are devoured through the nose; Have powerful metabolic effects upon ingestion; Cannot be consumed on their own; Can be balanced with other tastes and fla...

I have a lot of thoughts and ideas that I want to see come into this world very badly. The uncertainty that this current constant state of flux brings, where it seems like the future is more unpredictable than ever, arouses a real sense of urgency in me to prioritize these creative fruitions on one hand. Yet there is also a natural inclination I feel to just dive in head first into my creative process. I admit there is a sort of desperation that has arisen within me because of all this. I understand that being reckless is dangerous, and it can cause anxiety for others sometimes, but there is a deep faith within me that says that this is the way. Whether it makes sense or not to anyone else, whether it is actually feasible or not, or if its consequences will be predominantly good or bad. Even if it seems a bit extreme, risky, senseless even. Isn't that the true nature of faith, though? Isn't that what we call courage? Then there is that fundamental prerequisite, essential to the...

While nothing has changed on the one hand, nothing remains the same on the other. All the lives that have touched me and my experiences have changed me forever. I can never go back again. My mind has transformed along with my heart and soul. Something has clicked like never before. I learned a lot in the past two months. 2023 has been exceptionally good for me.  The last time I tried to fix myself I was trying my hardest but feeling like it was never enough. I had accepted that shitty feelings are part of the process and I just needed to keep going strong. I pushed myself really hard. I went above and beyond until I didn't. I crashed, failed, and burned to end up much worse off than I had started it seemed like.  This time is different, just like last time, and the one before. Each time I am leading with experience and none are alike to another. Starting off again, it is very clear to me that I have to pick that one thing and I have to prioritize the rest. That one nonnegotiab...

I have so many things on my mind. So many things I want to write that I don't know where to start or how. Author James Clear suggests building an identity before trying to build a habit. Believing that "I am a writer" and then creating a habit to write is much easier than the other way around. Somehow on some level, I already feel like I am a creative person. I feel it is part of my identity to create things that bring to life all of my favorite most wonderful ideas. In my head, the biggest challenge for me was that of commitment. At first, I was afraid of earning a living from it. Now I see that almost anyone who does some work seems to get somewhere with it. The issue is that of commitment. It is difficult for me to commit to a certain type of work and then let it all go.  I have been under influence for the past month it feels like. I tried my best to pay attention this time and not let it become a blurry haze. Although it feels like today I have awoken after a whole m...