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Showing posts from September, 2024

Changing The World

Faith in God is by far one of the most useful things for a majority of people in today's world. Religions have gotten countless many out of some really dark times. Clearly, having survived for millenniums, it provides some utility to enough of us. I've felt the liberating experience myself. When I was young, I felt nothing really mattered. With the lack of any real system of values, I was exposed to the popular culture of the 2000s which revolved around atheism & liberty.  My parents were born Hindu but chose to distance themselves from the temples that disillusioned them. Instead, they found peace in Nichiren Daishonen's Buddhism. They would chant & send me to a meeting here & there, but it never really stuck & they chose not to further impose it on me. I started to lean toward Dale Carnegie, Stephen Covey & the like. Americans greatly influenced me as I grew up watching all their media, from Smosh & Ryan Higa on YouTube to Jim Carrey & Tom Crui...

Why I write

There are many days, especially when I try to create for any number of days in a row, where I clearly don't know what I want to talk about. Looking back, anyone can find that on those days, I just end up reminding myself why I started. Like a broken record on repeat, I tell myself about the greats, how they all had personal journals, & that if I keep creating every day, I'll eventually get better at it. So why beat around the bush? This is one of those days, so let's embrace this concept! I really do love having something to do. "An idle mind is the devil's playground." comes to mind. Recently, I've been learning the meaning of inner work. I've been unraveling my thoughts & motivation, bringing my fractured parts closer together. I won't go off on a tangent here about mending & healing, but I have been genuinely questioning my motivations simply for understanding's sake. Sure, there is a crushing sense of terror in my heart of heart...

Productive Healing: The Work That Does

Something feels different. I've been trying so hard to move this invisible needle that measures some ineffable, yet omnipresent quality of my life. So desperate for change, I ran about in a trance, sometimes like a waterfall crashing into the rocks, sometimes like a headless chicken. I tried A, nothing happened. Then I tried B, to no avail. More of A, less of B, AB, BA, AAB, BBA, BAB, ABA, & so on... I felt like the grind started to erode me to my core, changing the shape of my soul. I started to feel more and more like a stranger to myself with every passing moment.  Looking at myself in the mirror, feeling my own body, hearing my voice, I felt an ick I couldn't wash away, a weight that wouldn't come off my chest no matter how many distorted twists & turns I contorted my body in. Considering this to be my new reality, I worked to accept this as best I could. Then came the numbness, the sleep, the hunger, & greed. After that? Anger. A violent, destructive, terri...

Something to Say

We all want to be seen, get heard, & feel held. But does everyone feel like they have something to say? I know many people making content online, many others want to, while others look up to the ones who do. Looking around, comparing, & seeing how I measure up, I feel insecure & unworthy of joining these chosen ones. What do I have to say that's worth listening to? Why do I deserve to be heard? Intellectually, I know that anyone who takes action always ends up reaping some kind of reward from it. Perhaps this is the modern way of life? We create content as a portfolio of who we are. We express ourselves through it, through our online presence and brand persona. This is how we feel attracted to others. This is what makes us come close. In the age of democratization, where anyone can be a star, could you really respect someone who doesn't go for it? This is the modern social dilemma: wanting to stay authentic while having to creatively express yourself to find connect...

Dropping The Ball

Patience, Persistence, & Perseverance. Practicing these golden values while having faith. Keeping your head down & doing your best the whole time. That's what I believe I have been doing. Facing setback after setback, I've been regularly taking steps to improve every aspect of my life. The world is so loud, though. I stepped out into it, to better myself. I've gotten sick of talking to people about myself. Talking seems so pointless nowadays. Even writing about my hopes, dreams, & mission feels unbearably redundant. I try to remind myself to keep taking steps. Keep showing up and going through the motions. I know that progress will come if I keep moving in the right direction. If I keep going through the motions, I will get better. I need to get better so I can bring my ideas to reality. I want to write about food, art, culture, marketing, & life. I want to express my thoughts, emotions, & inner feelings in a way that makes sense to others. I sincerely b...