Changing The World

Faith in God is by far one of the most useful things for a majority of people in today's world. Religions have gotten countless many out of some really dark times. Clearly, having survived for millenniums, it provides some utility to enough of us. I've felt the liberating experience myself. When I was young, I felt nothing really mattered. With the lack of any real system of values, I was exposed to the popular culture of the 2000s which revolved around atheism & liberty. 

My parents were born Hindu but chose to distance themselves from the temples that disillusioned them. Instead, they found peace in Nichiren Daishonen's Buddhism. They would chant & send me to a meeting here & there, but it never really stuck & they chose not to further impose it on me. I started to lean toward Dale Carnegie, Stephen Covey & the like. Americans greatly influenced me as I grew up watching all their media, from Smosh & Ryan Higa on YouTube to Jim Carrey & Tom Cruise on the big screen. 

In higher-middle school, I started to get severely depressed (lol). thinking I had to do everything "myself", I became an anxious & suicidal mess who didn't want to think about the next week, never mind plan my life or career. After school ended, I started my journey toward selfishness. I explored spirituality, meditation & zen Buddhism. I learned from Alan Watts & my fellow hippies. Slowly but surely, I understood the benefits Faith had to offer.

In life, we have very little control over things. External stimuli, other people & the world at large are all beyond our influence. Having gone through the typical range of self help books, I was aware of a victim's primarily reactive mindset. I discovered the art of doing nothing, and as of very recently, it never really took. I found that praying was a turn-off to me. Akin to how I would imagine a philosopher, I was constantly obsessed with meaning & purpose. 

If I practiced something, I needed to be aware of its clear advantages. Doing things without knowing why felt like some unbearable kind of hell. In the past few articles, I've talked about how everything is different now. The recent rediscovery of spirituality breathed new life into my tired & bruised husk. Having ruthlessly executed for many & honestly giving my all, I found some real value in the art of being empty. I felt re-energized & reinvigorated. 

I discovered all the unnecessary weight I was dragging around, and how it was slowing me down & actively hurting me. I became aware of countless programs that would run in the background, like panicked fits of madness that haunted the corners of my mind. One by one, I'm learning to let them go. As I strip them off, I find myself feeling lighter than ever on one hand, and wondering what else is holding me back on the other. Many wounds I'm becoming aware of, yet are still out of reach. Who knows how many are yet to be discovered?

The whole episode has been making me question many things. Responding to my reactions with a loving curiosity that seeks only to understand, I wonder to myself, "Why am I doing this? What's making me feel this way? Why do I feel the need to do this?" Such queries have unlocked a treasure trove of serenity, peace, joy & love. I wish to dive into the beautiful depths of my soul, losing myself & connecting with even more parts of me. Yet, they've also made me reluctant to act, feeling almost compelled to push back against every compulsion. 

Unraveling that conflict is the aim of today's article. As they say: he who wants to change the world should begin by changing himself. While we can certainly begin to get lost in the weeds of what exactly is the "self", I would much rather focus on action. What makes one action good & another bad? Can we ascertain the degree of influence an individual has? To what degree should we let go of things? How do we decide what deserves our focus & what should be left to God? 

Of course, unsurprisingly, a lot of it seems to be tied to my past. The things that happened to me, the conclusions I've drawn from those events about myself, and the repetitive patterns that arose from them. Those were by far the most influential. Beyond that was my environmental influences & how different things made me feel in general. So, essentially, there were the external situations and events of my past that led to the internal states averaging over time.

For an individual, those are the most important things, for they are a person's own truth and how they relate to the world. Then comes the question of the world itself. If one learns to embrace the depths of one's soul, then learning to meet reality on its terms should be a walk in the park, yet it is extremely rare for anyone to achieve a balance between both. Looking out to reality, many things become clearer. Right from wrong can be seen more clearly as a matter of perspective and it becomes clear that one must come up with these answers themselves.

As for changing the world, that is a problem that must inherently involve the world. In other words, if I'm allowed to make a joke, "Well, first the world has to want to change." As far as an individual is concerned, actions may speak louder than words, but more often than not, words are all we have to sway people's hearts & minds. What might bring us far more comfort is faith in powers greater than you and I. Whether it's a matter of changing the world or influencing others, the greatest of things are best left as surprises. 

Perhaps it's far more satisfying, enjoyable, and indeed, fulfilling to simply do your best and to forget the rest. To give it your all day after day and to leave the rest up to fate. It might seem bleak to dedicate your life to a cause, only to never see it come to fruition. After all, no one wants to play a game they cannot win. But one should beware of the win dressed in black and white, for reality often comes adorned in varying shades of grey. So by all means, pick your battles well and true, and stick to your guns, through and through.

No guts, no glory, no pain, no gain. The joy of living lies so far beneath, under the oceans, below the deep, dark sea. It's depth and commitment that yields joy and meaning. Purpose fuels the process and pleasure is the reward for a job well done. Learning to do things for their own sake, and finding the fundamentals enjoyable, that's the stuff of legends. Achievement, change, success, and recognition, these are never in one's hands. They require such luck that never feels enough, except for the chosen few.

So change yourself while you are awake and leave the world at its own pace.