My Journey

I feel like I've been down this road before... but here I am again. I'm getting pulled in many different directions. I really want to develop certain skills. I want to become more useful and competent as a human being. Yet, I'm afraid that this is all too much and I feel like I'm spiraling and about to crash and curn again.  I want to learn all the basics of marketing. I want to become better at writing, strategizing, and consulting businesses. I also want to become a better designer. I want to learn all the basics of all the softwares. I want to learn 3D animation, 2D animation, and graphic design. On one hand, I want to become a world-class master communicator that can whip out scripts, dialogue, and outlines out the whazoo. I want to write amazing blogs and create brilliantly insightful videos. I want to write entire books so I can awe-inspire people with amazing speeches, lectures, and presentations. I also want to be an artist, because a picture is worth a thousand...

Hello there my fellow readers! How are you doing today? Welcome to Earth in 2026. It's a wild and wonderful place bursting with unbelievable joys, naughty mischief, tragic horrors, and gnarly traps at every step. One thing is clear, you won't be bored here. That's right, anything can happen in this mad, mad landscape full of surprises, but there are some things you can expect. Kids can expect tons of shiny toys and fun rides. The elderly can have medicare and lifesupport. But for everyone in between, there is one thing worth considering: What would you like to do every single day of your life? It's a pretty wild question, one that inspires a lot of discomfort, but an important one regardless.  Now, while most people are nice enough to console you, saying that you don't really have to settle on a single thing for most of your life, that's far from the truth. In fact, the vast majority of the world would love nothing more than to stick a label on your head and sti...

My world is full of splitting paths, endless horizons, peaks, valleys, and everything in between. Yet, I always seem to end up coming around to the same old parts. Even when things seem different on the surface, I feel the same as I always have. There's something perculiar about therapeutic activities. They cleanse me from within. Perhaps everyone is different, and most people have someone else to lean on, but I always find myself backed up and stuffed to the brink with some kind of gunk.  It also seems like it wasn't always gunk to begin with. That perhaps there was a time and a place, maybe even some people out there who could've used these inner resources, if they came out in a particular way. Like what I had to say mattered to someone. I somehow find that hard to believe, contrary to my gut feelings. I discovered this year that I have a tendency toward inaction. It seems that I prefer to let things be, to go with the flow and not stir up the pot. An adaptation from a ti...

I've been trying to tackle all my goals for quite some time now. It's always been clearly more than any one person could manage, but I loved the idea of mixing it up and keeping things exciting so much that I piled everything on my plate anyway. Of course, it hurt to see things slide right off and fall to the floor even though I knew it was going to happen. After many years, I've come back to the idea of cutting it down to the present moment. Not in the big picture way, I'm still doing a wide variety of things because I enjoy them, but more practicaly. I realise that any good experience needs to be fun, which is the only way to live a good life. So, I've been focuing intently on my moment to moment experience. Whenever I stop to take a breather, I look up at the giant mountains in front of me, and they seem so insurmountable, it totally disorients me, casuing me to lose my footing. Achieveing anything meaningful or worthwhile seems so difficult that you feel like dr...

A lot has happened since I last wrote here. Even though I'm objectively in the worst shape of my life, I'm starting to remember the source of my strength, the power of mind over matter. I can feel the tide turning, and achievement seems more inevitable than ever before. As I imagine the true value of reaching my goals, maybe for the first time ever, I try my best not to trip over myself. That's why I've been nudging myself to focus on the present moment and to find inherent enjoyment in engaging with my problems. I've been through this hopecore arc before, and I've gone through what comes next. I was wide-eyed and optimistic when I was young, thinking the right mindset and good choices could solve everything. I've also been jaded and hopeless for a long time. It's time to let myself switch once more. It's better to hope, try, fail, and hurt, rather than to stay in the same place forever. I've stagnated, confusing inaction with safety, but I see m...

What kind of life do I wish to lead? More importantly, who do I want to be? In a practice of visualization, transformation, and manifestation, I’ve decided to align my current self-image with my ideal one.  First, let me write down how I’d like to be. Then, we will rewrite everything in the present tense. Once again, I will break it down into the five dimensions of my life: Physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual.  Of course, the financial and legendary aspects might also rear their heads.  Physically, I am flexible, fit, and durable. Durable, in the sense that I can endure greatly increasing hardship and discomfort. Fit, as I have the mental fortitude and stamina to achieve both effort and relaxation as needed.  Flexible, as I am capable of epic adaptations, shifting around to meet any challenge toe-to-toe. I might not win every battle at any damn cost, but I always show up, regularly, every single time, and put up one hell of a fight. Mentally, I am shar...

As I sit here thinking what to do, I wonder if there is any point to doing anything in the first place. I always wanted to do something with animation, as far back as I can remember. Over the course of trying to do so many things, I found that some things are just inherently related to people.  I’ve also come to believe that there is no inherent purpose to one’s life, no absolute destiny they can seek advice from. Instead, I choose to believe that the best purpose of life is to see it as an experiment. A playful dance that lights up the dreadful boredom of the eternal abyss.  In that sense, the purpose of one’s life is to have fun. Of course, life is what anyone makes of it. You can pinch pennies to accumulate great wealth, be content as a shoddy beggar, or aspire to be as simple as possible. No matter what you choose, there will be far more joy and suffering than anyone could handle on their own. Of course, there are many aspects to one’s life, each introducing its own specia...